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Estonia vs. Palm trees

The anthology of my Estonian chronicles in English language. At last: "Supermodels. Skype. The legacies of Soviet occupation. Sex terrorism. The gender gap. Spontaneity. Simplicity. Wife-carrying. Its never easy to write anthropological chronicles on a specific nation as an alien author. Weekly. For six years. In the countrys mainstream media. However, Estonian people belong to a unique breed. They not only gave space for this project to materialize but also decided to promote it worldwide. Indeed, throughout these compositions the reader will find plenty of criticism about Estonia and Estonians. Hand-in-hand with compliments. Hedonism. Gratitude. Pagan Estonia is a rather different species: not a coincidence that this fascinating republic ranks 3rd worldwide when it comes to press freedom. A kind of paradise in our time."

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19 kinds of girls who bruise my soul

By João Lopes Marques (Eesti keeles)


There was a time, not too long ago, I believed I had become a misogynous guy. False. I wasn’t. Then I started fearing I was slightly gynophobic. Nope. I was just afraid to bump into another stupid girl. It wasn’t easy to understand it but 10 or 15 years later I realize I’m just too sensitive to 19 specific species of women. Indeed, I can even turn intolerant in presence of one of them. Such a phenomenon can be either personal taste or old trauma, I know. However, I don’t care anymore. I just confess the following kind of females have the power to bruise my soul:


1- The hologram girl

You think everything is fine, that that closeness is real, and you stretch your arm. Of course you wanted more and she let you play that game. For a week. A month. Sometimes even for years. Helàs! Now you understand you were living in a dream. “Why did she give me so many wrong signs”, you wonder; “João, I’ve seen you always as a very good friend”, she states.


2- The drink-…