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When Mr. Guy Friend is always around the corner

By João Lopes Marques (Eesti keeles)

Jealousy is a powerful feeling, usually for the worst reasons. I guess that’s why the “guy friend” topic is an extremely popular one in contemporary emotional literature. For men such a subject is nothing minor. It applies to most relationships: almost every female likes to keep a solid relationship with a guy she met a decade or a year prior to our arrival.

Let’s face it: this is the main reason why we tolerate Mr. Guy Friend — he was already part of her daily life and the longer the friendship the better. A second scenario is when Mr. Guy Friend is a common friend the couple met at the very same time. Still...

Some women prefer to dub it “primitive”. Yet if there is something remarkable in males is their concrete and logical thinking. In this context, “being linear” is not necessarily an insult. We shall also agree if I say men are much less manipulative than women: no tears, no scandals, no sex as a reward, no mysterious silences...

Evolution taught us to be territorial. Bear in mind DNA tests are a recent breakthrough. Ovulation is a very well-kept female secret. Exaggeration? Still nowadays from 5% to 10% of the babies are born out of the relationship.

Yes, awareness is important. A noble man must be magnanimous, but he also must filter the good and the bad Mr. Guy Friends. It’s also a matter of introspection. After all, at some point we must have also played Mr. Guy Friend for other couples...

1) A true friendship is a true friendship, and vice-versa. We are nobody to stop it, even if Mr. Guy Friend is a former boyfriend. Actually, this is the soundest and the easiest to identify: Mr. Guy Friend tends to become genuinely our friend as well. He wishes the best for his female friend and he knows she loves us. Nevertheless, a problem can pop up: Mr. Guy Friend doesn’t like us and we have to cope with a enemy for a certain time. Not too long, though: our partner will have to opt for one of us.

2) Lots of us fostered different “colourful relationships” throughout our lives. That’s another trend of post-modernity: we try first and just then we opt in. Now imagine your partner having lunch or going to the cinema with one of these ex-colorful friends. Moreover, she does it once a month... No, I don’t like this idea, sorry.

3) Many women have several gay friends, but there is always one who’s her favourite. They are really close. Hopefully. This scenario is the best of two worlds: she keeps contact with a man who admires her as a diva, although he is harmless to our emotions. He’s always there for her when we are not. Besides that, it’s really cool to have a gay friend. The problem? When Mr. Gay Friend is so attached to our sweetheart he starts doubting about his sexual orientation. Let’s cross our fingers and just hope he doesn’t want to make an experiment...

4) Of course we feel powerless when Mr. Guy Friend is embedded in a group of classmates or colleagues as a Trojan horse. He comes always in the package. Alas, we can’t do anything, to interfere in her social life would be a sign of weakness. Rudeness. But let’s keep it in a group format, right?

5) Frustrated lovers can also become marathon runners. Platonism fuels millions of friendships across the world. In these cases, one of the friends crystallized a fantasy about the friend and still has some hope. From his/her views, we are just another temporary hassle and perhaps necessary stage before the other acknowledges such a big love. Somehow it’s written in the stars they’ll end up together...

Eventually, the latter can turn annoying. Mr. Guy Friends should know the moment to step out or lower their profile. But don’t expect such a sensibility from all souls. Fed up of infamous stories, my radical friend Catarina told me once: “You know what? I don’t believe in true friendship between men and women. It’s always fake. There is always one of them who wants more...”

Wait... Does she expect something else from me?

Comentários

Isabel Metello disse…
...and what about Girl Friends turned into lovers disguised as a Shoulder to Cry on?...and what about a Guy making a Girl stop seeing Her Best Friend because of his obsessive jealousy but at the same time having more than a good time with all his so called Girl Friends even in front of her? A man and a woman can´t just be Good Friends? For Goodness sake, what a preposterous idea! Grow up! My Best Friends are Men even if I have few Women within my Real Friendship Circle- those who have the ability to be Loyal and overcome vulgar viper´s poison as well as the trend to manipulate others behind the stage...in fact there are so many men using the same strategy...
...Anyway I do believe that each person belongs to his own symbolic habitat and people from different essences just can´t be together...what died died for all eternity...
Isabel Metello disse…
...by the way, os comentários ao post anterior são de moi-même...
sónia disse…
:) Evil comes in small packages!

Quanto à conclusão, será melhor perguntares a ti próprio se não esperas algo mais, além de, para além de, dela. Não sei, desconfio eu.
Boas escritas! Keep on writing!

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19 kinds of girls who bruise my soul

By João Lopes Marques (Eesti keeles)


There was a time, not too long ago, I believed I had become a misogynous guy. False. I wasn’t. Then I started fearing I was slightly gynophobic. Nope. I was just afraid to bump into another stupid girl. It wasn’t easy to understand it but 10 or 15 years later I realize I’m just too sensitive to 19 specific species of women. Indeed, I can even turn intolerant in presence of one of them. Such a phenomenon can be either personal taste or old trauma, I know. However, I don’t care anymore. I just confess the following kind of females have the power to bruise my soul:


1- The hologram girl

You think everything is fine, that that closeness is real, and you stretch your arm. Of course you wanted more and she let you play that game. For a week. A month. Sometimes even for years. Helàs! Now you understand you were living in a dream. “Why did she give me so many wrong signs”, you wonder; “João, I’ve seen you always as a very good friend”, she states.


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