Circo Vicioso

Bot things that can happen in our post-post-modernity.  

Editor's note: "Narva Oblast" is a text published first in the "Eesti Ekspress" weekly newspaper back in 2009 after Vladimir Putin invaded some regions of my beloved Eastern Iberia (Georgia). I decided to upload it here in the (English language) original version before translation into Estonian by my good Tallinn-born friend and ex-editor Askur Alas. Well, off it goes... Narva Oblast Everything happened too fast. Extremely fast. But History is picky: who could predict a month ago European Union's official recognition of Kosovo would happen the very same week as the Presidential election in Russia? “Rude mistake”, “Careless foreign policy”, “Big Bear underestimated”, “Bronze Soldier’s revenge”, “Second Act”, “Vladimir’s Grand Finale ”, etc. I can’t remember all the headlines printed those late days of February 2008. “Surprise”? To some extent. However, one can hardly say it was an “ab...

Pre-pandemic 2019 was another difficult year from a personal perspective: However, with a huge difference: my kids had not been subtracted yet by her mother Age Viira and, even while living in Estonia, they could still travel happily to Portugal with their papa (me) and visit their friends and family in Lisbon and around (especially both Portuguese grandparents and their beloved cousin Laura). This picture, taken on a Helsinki-Lisbon flight operated by  Finnair  in July 2019 embodies what could have been the normality lost over these 3+ years. Jonas now hardly understands the Portuguese language, let alone speaks it. Really sad, but the flight, sorry, the flight continues, irrespective of all the nasty post-Soviet Estonian-Viljandi-family tricks. Another tomorrow will sing louder, I am sure and hopeful, for the highest interest of my three children and their biggest joy. Also important: thanks, Salvador — I always knew you deserved such a name.     

Jamais me esquecerei do meu primeiro vídeo publicado no meu canal YouTube, agora apelidado de "Circo Vicioso" para fazer pandã aqui com o bloguinho. Isto foi em Fevereiro de 2009 e, apesar do gesso, criei grande cumplicidade com aquelas duas amigas do hemisfério ocidental. Uma era francófona, a outra anglófona. Mélanie e Megan, respectivamente. Nevava lá fora, mas a alvura do meu gesso na perna esquerda cumpria a sua função existencial. Imaculada brancura nunca me faltou naquele funcional apartamento de Tallinn (Na Raua tänav, algo como "Rua do Ferro"). PS - O vídeo, pelo seu conteúdo erótico coxo, só está disponível no canal YouTube do "Circo Vicioso", o nosso novo apêndice que, desde já, vos convido a subscrever. Um dia seremos grandes.

Não é todos os dias que se vê um bailado defensivo destes. Aconteceu este fim-de-semana na Meistriliiga, o sofrível campeonato nacional da Estónia. Ora reparem bem nos três guarda-redes sincronizados na baliza do Kalju Nõmme. Sincronizadíssimos. Um à frente das redes e outros dois atrás delas. Magnífico, não? Pena que tão inusitada coreografia não evitasse o golo adversário.

No dia em que franqueámos as seiscentas visualizações, o Salmão brinda-vos novamente com o vídeo culturalmente chocante sobre a Estónia. Só ainda não percebo por que continuam a gostar tanto deste e a desprezar os cafés com pernas chilenos. Ou a tetrafobia chinesa. Ou a comédia beijoqueira em que se converteu esta França contemporânea. Enfim, deve andar por aí algum algoritmo louco à solta...

The anthology of my Estonian chronicles in English language. At last: "Supermodels. Skype. The legacies of Soviet occupation. Sex terrorism. The gender gap. Spontaneity. Simplicity. Wife-carrying. Its never easy to write anthropological chronicles on a specific nation as an alien author. Weekly. For six years. In the countrys mainstream media. However, Estonian people belong to a unique breed. They not only gave space for this project to materialize but also decided to promote it worldwide. Indeed, throughout these compositions the reader will find plenty of criticism about Estonia and Estonians. Hand-in-hand with compliments. Hedonism. Gratitude. Pagan Estonia is a rather different species: not a coincidence that this fascinating republic ranks 3rd worldwide when it comes to press freedom. A kind of paradise in our time."

By João Lopes Marques ( Eesti keeles ) "Tallinn is like Prague after the neutron bomb!" This funny and simplistic joke invented by my Dutch friend Thomas has proved quite popular among my Estonian network. We don't need an hermeneutical exercise to conclude locals tend to agree Prague shares lots of things with the capital of Estonia. Yet today I decided to upgrade the challenge. The question: "What is the most similar country with Estonia?" A tough one, isn't it? Is it Czech Republic? Truth to tell, in my mind it has been clear for years. Slovenia, of course. "How come Slovenia has to do with Estonia?", you may ask. Well, the Germanic influence in the last thousand years. This is undeniable. Just visit Ljubljana: it's center is different, but the spirit reminds Old Tallinn's. Those are cities originally designed with human scale. The local castle it's a kind of Toompea and the only big difference would be the river Ljublianica...

by João Lopes Marques ( Eesti keeles ) For a Portuguese who is raised in a culture of improvisation, The Netherlands was quite a traumatic home. There is a small word Dutch people love: "agenda." Still nowadays when I am planning things with my good friends in Amsterdam I have to allow one or two weeks. The most common sentence I heard while living in Amsterdam was "Let me check my agenda..." On top it seems they make it on purpose: the pronunciation must be very guttural so that underlines the rational power of the etym. "Agenda" is the Dutch — and Germanic, and Scandinavian — symbol of organization. I am also extremely cautious every time I pass by Vienna, Berlin or Zurich: life must be thought in advance and never ever cancel a meeting just because you are in bad mood, bumped into a ex-girlfriend or forgot about that national team match on TV. You risk losing a friend. This is why Estonian spontaneousness was quite a big surprise for me. Four y...

João Lopes Marques* ( Eesti keeles ) "Blablabla..." This is an amazing word: "Blablabla..." It can also be a sentence if we decide to slow it down: "Bla, bla, bla..." As you probably know, this is one of the Estonian favourite ways to depict Southerners like the author of this column. This blablabla-caricature is particularly used by Estonian male patriots: aliens came here just to hook up local girls with their blablabla expertise... According to this mentality — let's call it angle, instead — Estonians are much more silent people. Observers they are. Though much-much more reliable. They speak by their acts; they act through their examples. And if the doubt prevails, an old local proverb explains everything: "Words are silver, but silence is gold." I may agree these are beautiful and poetic images. Just a pity they also help to hide one of Estonian biggest social problems: I am writing about the ubiquitous lack of communication. Interperson...

Poiss ja tüdruk.

Jah, siin on tasuta! Ja kui meeldib, osta siit .

Vá lá, apesar da tradução (portuguesa) da tradução (francesa) da tradução (estónia) do inglês original, o texto existe e é legível. Sai este mês no Courrier International . Às vezes fico espantado com a força de certas ideias. Sobrepõem-se à aparente incomunicabilidade.

Kalamajas on veel väga hall... Aga minu tsirkus algab praegu!

Already in the Estonian bookstores. Ilus, ilus, ilus...

Não sei porquê, mas a sauna aqui do bairro deixa-me mesmo tranquilo. Kalmo.

Another smiley reason to love Estonia. My morning porridge was slightly different today. Thanks to "the kitchen".